I was already today to start talking about  getting out of the hell I have been living in for four years.  I was so excited,  peace and joy had plainly entered my world.  And then it all came crashing in.  Once again the doctors through me for a loop, just when I think it's all over I have the medicines I need so I can play and  have a life again, one Dr. Just one refuses to give me the one medication I need so that all the rest will work.  So I decide to be proactive and call the doctor's office, I was asking for the name of their Dr., To go there and get what I need.  Only to be told that I am calling and bothering them too much and I will be thrown out of the clinic.  O come up on, the doctors don't do their job or the nurses I am told to do it for them than I am accused of calling too much.  Why don't they do their job so I don't have to, I'm not getting paid they are, but yet every time there's a problem I am told to fix it.  Now, I am being a pain, this is all just too much.  I was feeling such tranquility this morning, now again I am ready to pull my hair out.  I am so upset right now, I can't even continue writing.  When you think your in  Heaven and hell comes crashing back in it is overwhelming all consuming.