THIS TOO SHALL PASS

            after writing about lying, i want to write about another state of being ,love. love, true love, can open your heart, make it sing with joy, lighting a spark that glows brighter than any star, as your spirit soars to unimaginable heights.  love makes you strong, not weak, love lifts you up when you are down.  everything is possible, you are able to over come obstacles you never though you could.you become empowered by the strength of an others combined with that of your own. the trails and tribulations in life roll off like water on a ducks back. when someone believes in and loves you the  fortitude of personality and will, take you were ever your dreams can go.  thank you for your strength and healing.

THIS TOO SHALL PASS

              WOW, it seems there are real humans in corporations after all, they really want to help. now the next day, when people are not honest, especially people in places of authority, it makes life so difficult. have you ever noticed that when you are lied to or manipulated not only does your world seem to spin off  balance but you feel crazy? i know i do, someone lies to me and i react accordingly. suddenly nothing is turning out the way it should. it is impossible to say something and expect reality to bend accordingly. in the mean time i am trying my hardest to get a square peg in into a round hole. i think i am crazy, over the years i have learned that when ever i feel this certain craziness, 9 out of 10 times being lied to.   I HATE BEING LIED TO! makes ya crazy.

THIS TOO SHALL PASS

          what  crazy day! i went to my new pain doctor for my 2 week check in ,he is really very nice i can actually talk with him, about everything. as he keeps getting more and more of my mri's, ct scans and ex-rays he keeps increasing  the medication dose. he has come up with different ideas other than medication. even those keep changing. he is a sweet a guy really listens, looks at films and explains them, plus he likes to laugh,  IT HAS BEEN A LONG HARD FOUR YEARS, I HAVE WORKED HARD TO FIND THE RIGHT DOCTORS AND GET ANSWERS. so here we are today, in his office and he increased my medication., yeah!! pain is almost under control. now i leave my half empty bottles with him, new scripts in hand.  off we go to the pharmacy,  we drop them off and leave, expecting the medication to be delivered  soon.  for 4 whole hours i allowed my self to take medication and be realtivy free of pain. surprise, surprise, i get a call from the pharmacy..TO EARLY TO FILL!  now i am in a state of shock, this is a whole new script, with an increase, even 6 months ago that meant they had to fill it, not now, all the rules have changed. i am supposed to return to the doc get my meds back and suffer for 2 more weeks, i refuse! in a few hours i will get up and call the insurance company. telling them  that last night i had to call a suicide prevention line, i was not suicidal,yet
but was scared it was coming, that is how bad the pain has been for a month now. telling them i refuse to suffer any more!!! i have worked too long and hard to have this stop me from from haveing a painless time!  after a they have paid for.....come on, really?  if they do not cooperate i will be in the ER every day for the next two weeks keeping ny pain managed. the choice will be theirs, $2500.00 per visit or a few $ on medication, the ER must medicate i have a new medication plan, they are obligated to treat me. IT WILL BE INTESTING TO SEE WHICH THEY CHOOSE

THIS TOO SHALL PASS

up and down around and around i go until old skin flies away, showing a better route, new paths, old memories brighten the way. like a sapling growing stronger, taller each day, many new branches strive to reach sunlight. which branch to take a ride on. or jump from branch to branch taking with the lessons of each. returning to the strength of the trunk drinking the sweet juice of wisdom, from mother earth. she gives strength to every branch to reach his light.

THIS TOO SHALL PASS

I would like to tell everyone why I am bothering with a book instead of enjoying life when ever i can. i was brought up to believe that, yes i am my brothers keeper. i see my brothers and sisters hurting every day. so much pain , hurt, sorrow, it breaks my heart. how does one go about mending a broken heart, by repair. like our planet in pain right now from abuse and overuse. people, advocates, are doing all they can to heal our broken home. they feel a responsibility to repair the damage. i know we as a group have a chance to mend our broken hearts, in a way never before done. we are the many voices of pain, i for one can no longer tolerate the abuse toward those of us who suffer needlessly. THAT WAS A NICE DREAM, PAINFUL BUT GOOD. seems u always learn the most from painful failures. not that i want to live this way, it just happens. i am ready to slow the learning curve and start doing.~~~ruby

THIS TOO SHALL PASS

    this is ridicules i am a person with rights!! first the insurance companies get into bed with the doctors, telling us what medication we can and can not have, or how many pills we are allowed. HIIPA is now a joke, the government has the right to store our medication scripts in a computer and track us!! Now the

THIS TOO SHALL PASS