thiss too shall pass

           THIS WAS WRITTEN OUT OF TOTAL DESPERATION,  a while back the pain and suffering for me and then to others i love was to much.  i am re posting this sad sad letter so others might glimpse at the desperation we, in constant horrid pain, must deal with. THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE;      what to say, i can not hurt those i love,anymore,forgive me. i want t set you free from the burden i have become. to my children and husband i am sorry i can not be strong anymore. the pain has reached my brain. i no longer wish to cause pain to gen ,amzi,and z. it seems the medical community has practiced the wares on me too much for too long. it has gone all terribly wrong. i can not take seeing the destruction  i am causing my babies they deserve MUCH BETTER, a long, happy fulfilling life. it will not happen with ME in it. the only solution  i see left is to remove myself from the equation. I pray with all that i am, forgiven by those old enough, i and that
no more damage is done to those, who hold my heart in their hand. i will always be you i will never leave. to g thank you for my children and amazing father.   Amazi  i can not begin to say how much  i love u , you are my soul,. Z, you are my rock you and are a gentile giant   Amzi i am sorry i can not be the parent u want,  z i am sorry i am putting u through all this          g amzi and z i love you more than life.             take care of eddie  IMMA