Thiss Too Shall Pass

   I got one hell of a dilemma, I went to new pain doctor today who'll give me the relaxer i need so my spine is not constantly quivering. However, he cut the pain medication by 500 mg a day. I can't even think straight right, trying to decide what to do. And I talked to the pain clinic they kicked me out finally learning the reasons. Apparently I signed a document stating that I would not go anywhere else for medication and in going to the psychiatrist to get medication to help stop the quivering, I broke the rules. Never mind they told me to go, never mind they said I needed this medication they just weren't qualified to prescribe it. It would seem that today doctors can do pretty much whatever they feel like doing including lying, manipulating, out and out deception. How can they ever expect us to heal when treating us in such a horrid manner. After surgeons have cut me up 10 times, left an infection in my back for six years, left a bone fragment on the sciatic nerve for six months. Yet they are not responsible in any way for the damage that they have caused my body. Now I am trying to get some relief from all that damage and I cannot. Every time I go to a doctor in the beginning I am told yes you need help yes you need to, is yes you need that, but I can't help you. So I'd like to know who the hell will help me, all I'm asking for is a quality of life, not even the life I had prior to this this mess, but just some quality to my life. I have never before been forced to lay in bed to the point of having bedsores but I do now. Enough is enough already I'm tired of being sick and in pain and playing around doing nothing with my life but writing in this stupid blog that I doubt anyone reads or even cares about if they do read it..