THIS TOO SHALL PASS

                                          I'm not quite sure where to go even begin.  I think that  the world is gone completely mad and I'm stuck in the middle.  It starts at home, people talk about you but not to you, manipulate and confuse you.  As you move out to the bigger world, meaning, the same behavior just continues and grows.  I don't understand people's motives, which of course means I don't understand people, why do things that are so hurtful.  Actually, I have this feeling that it makes them look better if they make you look bad.  It's so easy in my condition to make me look like a fool.  It seems that the majority of my family are hellbent and doing so.  Why I ever came back to this place I don't know, I was always happier overseas.  While the rest of the world wants to get in, jokes on them it is not any better here.  Really I think it's much worse we pretend things are better, we pretend we have civil rights, we pretend we have all sorts of material goods, to make us happy, what a farce and it's all a lie.  From family relations, to the gov't of the United States of America, it is one huge uncaring thought less society.  Of course this is just the general picture and I haven't actually said any details and that the list is just way too long and they don't think there's enough paper on this pad to list them all.  Suffice to say until the people in the United States begin to learn how to treat each other starting inside the family and growing out words, the country is going to become more and more fragmented and distant.  All I really want is for this pain of the under control, and then happy is that really too much to ask.  I know what I need to be happy if it just remains elusive.