this too shall pss-living in constant pain

What I am finding the most intersesting right now is how profoundly the steriods have affected me. The physical weight gain,a given.The lack of sleep,strenght of my emotions and the loss of a wall between my thoughts and my mouth.I am easily overwhelmed by almost everything.It is so difficult to keep things inorder,the outter world and in the inner world of my mind. The most surprising of all is the effect my body has on everyother part of me.I am unfamilier with the physical fellings I am experiancing right now. Those feelings are controlling every part of me.I  used to tell my kids that saying your sorry ment nothing unless you made a change,as my daughter reminded me today. I am soooo sorry for most of the things I say but I dont know what is going to come out or what the affect will be.I dont think I've said sorry so much in my life. I have never felt so usless or helpless.Again the back is calling the shots,it is time to stop again.