What is really important
I've come to realize that I really am happiest when I am writing. I also feel pretty good when I am taking care of myself. It suddenly dawned on me that I am perceived as
an object, a thing to be repaired, or a a person is broken or doesn't the function properly or, on and on and on. But is not true at all, I am a person first and foremost, when in the hospital or doctor's office or even the pharmacy I understand why I am treated as an illness or a broken state of being.
When it comes to family and friends I really and don't like being treated as something broken that needs to be fixed. Over the years I tried and really hard to keep up appearances, I have noticed recently that I've allowed their attitudes of me to influence my own. At first I would get up every day get dressed, clean house and, cook dinner. I also tried very hard to parent my children. No one ever noticed , it didn't seem to make much of a difference, eventually I began to stop doing that things that made me feel like a person.Now I am an object. Well I'm taking myself back, I am doing the things I need to do to feel as a person . Stop objectifying myself, I would dress up every day no matter how painful. One, it was important for me, two, it was important for those around me to see me as a person. Slowly slowly with all the trials and tribulations they started giving that up. It seems the easiest thing to give up is yourself. now I've gotten to appoint where I've become an object and no longer a person.
I've come up with a plan, I always seem to be coming up with plans. But then that would make sense, since the energies around me are always in the state of fluctuation. So the new plan, take back myself, now I must also work within the confines of my body's ability to function. So, I can write, I can somewhat read, I can help others home who suffer some kind of pain, I can make jewelry when my eyes allow me to see. O' and I am able to move with a lot of limitations.
I've begin writing, and making jewelry can when I can see, and sit. I've started getting dressed every day, even putting on my face. I am writing not just this blog but a book as well. I am even learning French! This is my start to becoming a person again and not an object.
Not an object, a person
I've come to realize that I really am happiest when I am writing. I also feel pretty good when I am taking care of myself. It suddenly dawned on me that I am perceived as
an object, a thing to be repaired, or a a person is broken or doesn't the function properly or, on and on and on. But is not true at all, I am a person first and foremost, when in the hospital or doctor's office or even the pharmacy I understand why I am treated as an illness or a broken state of being.
When it comes to family and friends I really and don't like being treated as something broken that needs to be fixed. Over the years I tried and really hard to keep up appearances, I have noticed recently that I've allowed their attitudes of me to influence my own. At first I would get up every day get dressed, clean house and, cook dinner. I also tried very hard to parent my children. No one ever noticed , it didn't seem to make much of a difference, eventually I began to stop doing that things that made me feel like a person.Now I am an object. Well I'm taking myself back, I am doing the things I need to do to feel as a person . Stop objectifying myself, I would dress up every day no matter how painful. One, it was important for me, two, it was important for those around me to see me as a person. Slowly slowly with all the trials and tribulations they started giving that up. It seems the easiest thing to give up is yourself. now I've gotten to appoint where I've become an object and no longer a person.
I've come up with a plan, I always seem to be coming up with plans. But then that would make sense, since the energies around me are always in the state of fluctuation. So the new plan, take back myself, now I must also work within the confines of my body's ability to function. So, I can write, I can somewhat read, I can help others home who suffer some kind of pain, I can make jewelry when my eyes allow me to see. O' and I am able to move with a lot of limitations.
I've begin writing, and making jewelry can when I can see, and sit. I've started getting dressed every day, even putting on my face. I am writing not just this blog but a book as well. I am even learning French! This is my start to becoming a person again and not an object.
Not an object, a person
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